Swimmin’ with Satan

Satan controls the waters. At least, Mormon doctrine says he does. And apparently, he's got sway over our shriveled little apostate hearts, too!

So, what are we waiting for? The sun is hot. The water is glistening. It's time to jump in and splash around with our big brother Lucifer! (Played by Michael Ballam, of course.)

"Swimmin' with Satan" combines that light, clean ozone smell with sea foam and green jungle vines to bring you right to a lagoon in the tropics. Imagine fun-lovin' Beelzebub swinging George of the Jungle style from a green vine overhead, splashing down next to you in his full be-Speedoed glory! Water trickles down your face, and you cannot stop smiling.

Splish splash, ya heathen scum!

SCENTS

"Swimmin' with Satan" has a light, subtle scent. It's mainly that clean, ozone smell that you get when you first lift your head out of the water. But hints of sea foam and green jungle vines will carry you off, if you're not careful, to that hidden lagoon where life feels new and anything is possible.

•  Top Notes: Ozone, Linen, Bergamot, Green Jungle Vines

•  Middle Notes: Sea Foam, Green Leaves, Rain Water, Freesia

•  Base Notes: Rainforest Moss, Violet, Bamboo

CANDLE INSPIRATION

In the Mormon worldview, the devil has dominion over the waters. (This being the case, don't ask me why we get baptized, by immersion no less, in the water...)

We know through the mouths of God's servants that we apostates are under Satan's control, too. So I guess that means that water is our element!

Jump into the bathtub, the pool, the lake, the lagoon, the vast ocean, and feel Satan's influence lap up around you.

Of course, Satan controlling something that covers 71% of our planet, comprises 60% of our own bodies, infiltrates the toilet bowls of our own sacred temples, and regularly drops down onto our foreheads from the clouds above might just be fearmongering. That whole idea might just be fake. As an apostate, I know that possibility disappoints you. I know your Satan-owned heart was really hoping for a pool party with the Archfiend himself. But why not jump in anyways, even if Satan isn't there?

The waters of baptism marked your official entry into the church. Let the clean, watery aroma of this candle help you mark your exit from it.

QUALITY + SUSTAINABILITY

All ExMo Candles are hand-poured in small batches, and each of our recipes is tweaked and tested before coming online. We take pride in the quality of our candles.

Our candles are also vegan-friendly, made and packaged sustainably, and pthalate-free. Our commitment to sustainability includes a partnership with One Tree Planted, where we donate the money to plant 100 trees for every 100 candles sold.

Finally, the removable labels on our jars make them easy to upcycle. Woohoo!

DISCREET PACKAGING

We know that you might be living with members of the church, or heck, that your mailman might be Mormon. For that reason, we've chosen not to brand our outer packaging in any way. No one will be able to tell from the outside of the box that you've ordered anything related to being an ex-Mormon. This includes the shipping label, which will simply say it's from Jen + Adri.

PRODUCT + FULFILLMENT DETAILS

The "Swimmin' with Satan" candle is guaranteed to give you 40+ hours of burn time. It comes in a glass jar with an aluminum lid, and it measures 3.5" tall and 2.75" across. The net weight is 7.1 oz.

Because all ExMo Candles are handmade to order, please allow a 7-day processing time before your order ships out.