Lieutenant General Supreme Commander

Cuban Cigar, Big Priesthood Energy

$29.00

Out of stock

Do you ever have one of those low self-esteem days? Does imposter syndrome ever get you down?

Giving off aromas of Cuban cigar and big priesthood energy, this candle will help you channel the inexhaustible confidence of Joseph Smith himself! Proudly wearing the titles of Prophet, King, and Lieutenant Flippin' General, the man of the endless priesthood will prance into your psyche when you light this candle and endow you with the confidence to fulfill all of your most outrageous fantasies!

Are you hoping for a promotion at work? Small potatoes! With this candle, you will find it within yourself to proclaim that you are, in fact, Emperor of the Universe! And that's just for a start!

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"Last Public Address Of Lieutenant General Joseph Smith" by John Hafen, 1888.

 

SCENTS

Musky and manly and rich, this is a scent that can only be wielded by those with big priesthood energy.

Run a Cohiba under your nose, and you have this distinguished aroma. Sure to make kings extol you, no doubt about it!

•  Top Notes: geranium, lemon

•  Middle Notes: Cuban cigar tobacco, anise, marigold, clove

•  Base Notes: amber, sandalwood, oakmoss, bay leaf, musk

 

Bonus points and my endless adoration if you sing the Gilbert and Sullivan "Modern Major General" song the first time you light your new "Lieutenant General Supreme Commander" candle! Keeping in mind that Major General is a rank below Lieutenant General, of course. (Like, seriously, if you do that, we must be friends.)

 

CANDLE INSPIRATION

You may have known Joseph Smith was a prophet. You may have known him to be a seer. And a revelator.

If you were ever Mormon, you certainly opened your hymnal to Page 27 and sang—vigorously, per the instruction at the top of the page—"Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!" You probably felt a swell of the Spirit™ as your ward sang together, "Kings shall extol him, and nations revere!" Perhaps goosebumps even ran down your arms as you belted out, towards the end of the hymn, "Great is his glory and endless his priesthood!!!"

In his own words, Joseph Smith had more to boast of than any man ever! Including Jesus!

"I have more to boast of than ever any many had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet."

 

Joseph Smith, Jr., History of the Church pp. 408–409 (BYU Studies)

(He certainly had more wives than Jesus! Bravo, Joe!)

He ran for President of the United States.

He was ordained King by the Council of Fifty.

And, strutting about Nauvoo as the supreme commander of the Nauvoo Legion, he also carried the title of Lieutenant General. This was the highest military office a civilian could occupy, and no one had claimed the title since George Washington.

But, a billowing plume in his hat, a sword that gleamed in the sun, and golden epaulets befitting the dignity of his station, Joseph donned the title with pride.

Prophet, King, and Lieutenant General Smith. A man at the apex of matters spiritual, political, and military. A pillar of humility and definitely, definitely not a narcissist caught up in his own self-aggrandizement.

If anything, we can look to the man who did more than even Jesus Christ as an example... May we all aspire to such healthy heights of self-esteem! #mentalhealthchallenge

So, light this candle and ignite the Lieutenant General Supreme Commander within yourself!

Puff up your chest, tuck a plume into your cap, and march right out that door to show the world who you are!

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I obtained this image from the header of an article on the church's website titled "Leading with Love", lol

 

 

 

...And I want to give credit to the Reddit meme that gave me this idea. It was a painting of Joseph Smith that had a joke on it about "Lieutenant General Supreme Commander Smith", but I can't find it now when I Google it. If you see this and know who created the meme, please email me so I can update this post to give them credit.

 

QUALITY + SUSTAINABILITY

All ExMo Candles are hand-poured in small batches, and each of our recipes is tweaked and tested before coming online. We take pride in the quality of our candles.

Our candles are also vegan-friendly, made and packaged sustainably, and pthalate-free. Our commitment to sustainability includes a partnership with One Tree Planted, where we donate the money to plant 100 trees for every 100 candles sold.

Finally, the removable labels on our jars make them easy to upcycle. Woohoo!

 

DISCREET PACKAGING

We know that you might be living with members of the church, or heck, that your mailman might be Mormon. For that reason, we've chosen not to brand our outer packaging in any way. No one will be able to tell from the outside of the box that you've ordered anything related to being an ex-Mormon. This includes the shipping label, which will simply say it's from Jen + Adri.

 

PRODUCT + FULFILLMENT DETAILS

The "Lieutenant General Supreme Commander" candle is guaranteed to give you 40+ hours of burn time. It comes in a glass jar with an aluminum lid, and it measures 3.5" tall and 2.75" across. The net weight is 7.1 oz.

Because all ExMo Candles are handmade to order, please allow a 7-day processing time before your order ships out.

3 reviews for Lieutenant General Supreme Commander

  1. Nemo

    I’m only 5’10”, but when I light this candle, I feel 6’5”! I feel like I could run 3 miles with a lame leg carrying a 60lb set of ancient records! I feel like I could order a printing press burned and the type scattered in the street! I feel invincible! In my next review I will review Eau de Carthage, which smells of old wooden floors and gunpowder, a far more contemplative aroma, suited to the aftermath of whatever situation this candle causes…

    Of course if you’re not like me, you could just light it and enjoy a great smelling candle.

    • Jen

      Yayyyyy! I’m so glad this candle could awaken the sleeping narcissist within you! I’m in awe of your strength as you run with those plates! Swoon! And I’m rooting for you in your printing press caper! Keeping burning this, Nemo, and kings shall extol you and nations revere!

  2. Ben Hawkes

    This candle will lift your spirit and give you the irrational abundance of confidence of a young priesthood holder! Reminiscent of Dad’s aftershave on a Sunday afternoon, blended with the warm embrace of a leather bound quad and the faint aroma of “refreshments” in the oven. You don’t need your patriarchal blessing to tell you that “Lieutenant General Supreme Commander” is the candle for you!

    • Jen

      “Irrational confidence of a young priesthood holder” deserves to be its own candle name! My patriarchal blessing told me that a wonderful reviewer would come into my lone and dreary life, and that I should give thanks with great exclamations! So, in my ~most~ exclamatory voice, thank youuuuuu! I’m so happy you like the candle, Ben, and hope it doesn’t go too much to your head 🙂

  3. Julie (verified owner)

    I feel like I’m surrounded by sexy priesthood bearing manly men, freshly shaved and ready to be at my beck and call. 😀 Sure to make heathens and angels alike swoon!

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TEMPORARILY CLOSED. All pending orders will be filled, and if it takes us longer than 7 days to send your order, we will refund you the $10 for shipping. Heathen hugs, Jen & Adri
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