Trained in Wickedness, Debauchery, and Every Species of Crime

When you think of good people from history, who comes to mind?

Harriet Tubman? Mr. Rogers? Betty White?

The ghost of Brigham Young snorts at such a thought!

You see, Brother Brigham tells us that babies not born to Mormon families will be "trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime". So all of those good people from history you brainstormed—if they weren't born Mormon, you can bet they're positively depraved! (Yes, Gandhi, too.)

And while Brother Brigham meant that as an insult, we hear those words and think, "If you've got it, flaunt it!" 😎 Which is why this candle is unabashedly festive!

Smelling of vibrant cranberry and decadent clove, this candle brandishes Brigham's barbs with bold, luxuriant abandon! Are you calling me wicked, debauched, and good at crime? Cheers! I'll add that to my resume!

SCENTS

Vibrant, festive, and warm, this scent brings the holidays into your home whenever you light it.

•  Top Notes: clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, cranberry, red currant

•  Middle Notes: cranberry, black currant, clove, cinnamon, green leaves

•  Base Notes: clove, vanilla, fir tree, tonka

Pairing Suggestions:

Angry, Bitter, Maladapted, Shrieking Sociopath - the freshness of the gin and cypress pair beautifully with cranberry. Burning together, they smell like a high-end cocktail.

Pearl of Pumpkin Spice - pumpkin spice burning at the same time as cranberry and clove? You can't get more autumnal than this pairing!

Zelph on the Shelf - Cranberry creates a zingy counterpoint to the smooth aromas of banana nut bread and toasted coconut in Zelph's candle. They smell great burning side by side!

CANDLE INSPIRATION

Mormon history is strewn with quotes from leaders condemning birth control.

From the prophet of my childhood, back when he was an apostle:

"The world teaches birth control. Tragically, many of our sisters subscribe to its pills and practices when they could easily provide earthly tabernacles for more of our Father's children."

 

Ezra Taft Benson, General Conference, April 1969

And then there's this:

"My wife has borne to me fifteen children. Anything short of this would have been less than her duty and privilege."

 

George F. Richards, Relief Society Magazine, July 1916

But, as always, Brigham Young had his own way of putting things, and it's just delightful. Not only does he use outrageous language—we love you for that, Brig!—but he equates not taking younger wives when your older wives hit menopause with a form of bad, bad birth control.

Preach, Brigham:

"If my wife had borne me all the children that she would ever bear, the celestial law would teach me to take young women that would have children.

"Do you understand this? I have told you many times that there are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles. Now what is our duty? To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can; hence if my women leave, I will go and search up others who will abide the celestial law..."

 

Brigham Young, from a sermon titled "The People of God Disciplined by Trials—Atonement By the Shedding of Blood—Our Heavenly Father—A Privilege Given to All the Married Sisters in Utah", Journal of Discourses, Vol. 4, Discourse 10

Now, "pills and practices" sounded icky.

And George F. Richards made me feel ashamed that I hadn't birthed 15 children yet.

But trained in wickedness and debauchery? Trained in every kind of crime?! Brigham Young makes the world's side sound kind of fun!

You mean to tell me that I can debauch myself with wine, women, and song ~and~ get training in cracking vaults and impersonating a police officer?! And all I have to do is be born to a wicked non-Mormon family?!

Sign me the heck up!

QUALITY + SUSTAINABILITY

All ExMo Candles are hand-poured in small batches, and each of our recipes is tweaked and tested before coming online. We take pride in the quality of our candles.

Our candles are also vegan-friendly, made and packaged sustainably, and pthalate-free. Our commitment to sustainability includes a partnership with One Tree Planted, where we donate the money to plant 100 trees for every 100 candles sold.

Finally, the removable labels on our jars make them easy to upcycle. Woohoo!

DISCREET PACKAGING

We know that you might be living with members of the church, or heck, that your mailman might be Mormon. For that reason, we've chosen not to brand our outer packaging in any way. No one will be able to tell from the outside of the box that you've ordered anything related to being an ex-Mormon. This includes the shipping label, which will simply say it's from Jen + Adri.

PRODUCT + FULFILLMENT DETAILS

The "Trained in Wickedness, Debauchery, and Every Species of Crime" candle is guaranteed to give you 40+ hours of burn time. It comes in a glass jar with an aluminum lid, and it measures 3.5" tall and 2.75" across. The net weight is 7.1 oz.

Because all ExMo Candles are handmade to order, please allow a 7-day processing time before your order ships out.